Understanding Attachment Styles

^{Written by: Mai-Vy Julia Nguyen}

Attachment styles are patterns of behaviour when interacting with a significant other that influences our physiological reactions in conflicts and our way of thinking (Kassin et al, 2021). They are categorised into four main types: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised. These behavioural patterns are established in formative years between the child and the primary caregiver. They are often carried on over into adulthood and remain stable. However, attachment styles have the potential to shift and change during our stages of life.

The evolution of attachment theory

It all started with Dr John Bowlby, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, who brought to light the attachment theory, which suggests that an infant’s relationship to their primary caregiver will affect their social skills, emotional management and their ability to survive (Bowlby, 1982). When attachment theory first emerged in the academic world, it was highly criticized by other scholars from the field of psychology (Rutter, 1995). However, it has now become one of the most fundamental theories when studying early social development.

The Strange Situation

In the late 60s, Dr Mary Ainsworth conducted a ground-breaking study titled “The Strange Situation, " which elaborates on Bowlby’s attachment theory. Through this study, she establishes the three famous types of attachment styles in infants: secure, anxious, and avoidant. In this experiment, the researchers observe the child’s behaviour when their caregiver leaves them in a room with a stranger (a research assistant). Their behaviour during the caregiver’s absence and return is what will determine their attachment pattern. (Rosmalen, 2015).

• Secure babies looked upset as their caregiver left the room, however they found comfort as they came back.
• Anxious babies would be under intense distress as the caregiver left the room, and fear the stranger. When the caregiver returned, the baby would crawl back, however would seem angry at them by pushing them away and avoiding contact.
• Avoidant babies remained indifferent as their primary caregiver left the room and returned.

The disorganised attachment style was later on identified in the 90s. This pattern of behaviour in this similar experiment would exhibit incoherent reactions, often aggressive or fearful. (Main & Solomon, 1990).

Attachment theory would later on encapsulate adult relationships as well (Hazan & Shaver, 1987).

What are the different types of attachment styles?

Whether you're navigating intimacy challenges or just curious about the psychology behind love, a deeper exploration into different attachment styles can be enlightening. There are four main attachment styles, each reflecting different ways people form emotional bonds in relationships:

Secure attachment

Individuals with a secure attachment style believe in romantic love. By trusting their partner, they feel comfortable sharing intimate feelings. They also don't hesitate to rely on their significant other or to be relied upon. Being transparent and communicating well are common traits among these individuals. They have no trouble showing affection towards their partner. A secure attachment style tends to lead to a long-lasting relationship (Kassin et al, 2021).

Anxious attachment

Those with an anxious attachment style experience emotional highs and lows. They love passionately, however they are insecure and distrustful towards their significant other. Worrying thoughts about their partner abandoning them are recurrent in their minds. They want intimacy but fear to be rejected. Their insecurity makes them constantly question whether their partner truly loves them. The anxious attachment style is most common among young adults and decreases overtime (Kassin et al, 2021).

Avoidant attachment

Individuals with an avoidant attachment style tend to feel uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. They often struggle to trust and have a hard time relying on others as they value their independence. Those with an avoidant attachment style are often perceived as cold and distant to potential partners. This behavioural pattern is the most uncommon among young adults and peaks during middle age (Kassin et al, 2021).

Disorganised attachment 

The disorganised attachment style is a combination of the anxious attachment style and the avoidant attachment style. This behavioural pattern is often the result of childhood trauma. As the child receives abuse or neglect from their source of love, their caregiver, they long to receive love and attention but fear the caregiver themself. Individuals with this attachment style fear emotional intimacy and rejection as they believe relationships are deceptive. The disorganised attachment style is the most uncommon among the general population.

Why are attachment styles important?

When it comes to relationships, knowing your attachment style is a great tool to understand yourself and your surroundings. By learning about your own attachment style, it allows you to have a sense of why you react the way you do, why you think the way you do, and most importantly where to go from there. Since attachment styles are heavily studied, there are multiple ways to improve and become the best version of yourself to make worthwhile connections. After all, humans are social beings. We depend on social interaction to make life meaningful and worth living. It is by inter-relating to others that we experience all different colours of emotions and find happiness along the way.

Bibliography

• Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss. Vol. 1, Attachment (2nd ed.). Basic Books. [http://books.google.com/books?id=8bYkAQAAMAAJ]
• Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524.
• Kassin, S. M., Fein, S., Markus, H. R., & Brehm, S. S. (2021). Social psychology (11th ed.). Cengage Learning.
• Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1990). Procedures for identifying infants as disorganized/disoriented during the Ainsworth Strange Situation. In M. T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti, & E. M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years: Theory, research, and intervention (pp. 121–160). University of Chicago Press.
• Rutter, M. (1995). Clinical implications of attachment concepts: Retrospect and prospect. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 36(4), 549–571. [https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.1995.tb02314.x]
• Van Rosmalen, L., Van der Veer, R., & Van der Horst, F. (2015). Ainsworth’s strange situation procedure: The origin of an instrument. Journal of the History of the Behavioral Sciences, 51(3), 261–284. [https://doi.org/10.1002/jhbs.21729]